Allow Yourself to Mess Up More

It’s usually not as bad as you think

Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash

No one likes to mess up, even though we all do it, we hate it. It’s basically part of our DNA to mess up so there should be some forgiveness for ourselves when it does happen. It’s pretty easy to mess up, all we have to do is lose focus for a few seconds, and boom! Who knew that only a few seconds can have such a big impact on our lives.

Messing up usually comes with regret, we’re mad at ourselves because we know we could’ve done better but we decided not to, we took that moment for granted. Life doesn’t want you to take it for granted and to teach us this lesson, the universe allows us to mess up. Some of the time, depending on how big the mistake is, there are consequences to go with them.

Consequences are what really make us realize how bad the mistake was. Even if we see the mistake happening right in front of us, there’s no worse feeling than thinking back on it a day later and dealing with consequences.

As a human race, we need to support each other when messing up, we need to show that we care about others and that we understand how easy it is to mess up. Instead of yelling at each other for making a mistake, we should be finding a solution in a more calm manner together of how you can not make that same “mess up.”

Yelling is necessary at times because we have to let that other person know that they’ve made a mistake but we should also show some compassion for each other after the yelling. We yell at one another because we tend to have limited control of our emotions. If we feel betrayed then we have to defend ourselves by yelling.

Either way making a mistake is not the best feeling in the world but it happens from time to time so we might as well embrace it. We don’t want to be known as someone who is always messing up but we still need to remember that no one is perfect and that we’re humans.

Did you really think you wouldn't make the same mistake twice in your life? It happens, there will be consequences from them to help you learn but you need to stay strong for when they do arrive.

Be Positive Towards Yourself and Others

As hard as it is to be positive on a regular basis, we should be striving to be positive when we do mess up. There are a few things you can keep in mind for the next time you mess up. One of these ideas is to remind yourself that the situation could be worse. This always gives me a sense of relief when I’m at work.

The situation that has just happened to you may seem horrible at the moment but you’ll end up forgetting about it a few days later. Count your blessings the next time you get upset with yourself. We all have a lot to be thankful for no matter how bad our situation is. Be thankful for the things you do have and the things that you're able to do.

Life can get very stressful at times but there’s no better way to find positivity than to be thankful. Gratitude goes a long way, it can help you out at work when you’re dealing with an angry customer, it can also have a very beneficial impact on your mind during 2021 with the current pandemic.

Be positive no matter how hard it is, the more you practice positivity the easier it will be to attain. Now that you understand how important it is to be positive toward yourself, it’s also important to be positive towards others.

When we mess up or make a huge mistake, this seems to put us in a negative mood. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault but ours and we give off negative energy without even realizing it. Giving off negative energy can make others feel uncomfortable, put you in more hostile situations, and cause you to feel lonely.

In order to prevent this, we need to keep being nice towards others even when we don’t feel too good about ourselves. They don’t deserve to suffer from your mistakes, they’re just human beings trying to deal with their own mistakes as well. Smile at people when you can (even while wearing your mask) and be helpful to them. This will also cause you to forget about your mistakes quickly and help you to move on.

Forgive Yourself By Breathing

When you mess up, it’s usually not as bad as you think it is. This comes to our minds after the situation is over and we’re able to continue on with our day. If you can’t seem to control your frustration while messing up then you should think about breathing more.

Sounds pretty simple but it can be so effective. When we get at mad ourselves, it’s like we’re coming outside of our body and shaming another part of us for doing something wrong. At the end of the day, you are all you have and you need to be kind to yourself in order to be happy and to actually learn from your mistake.

This is where breathing comes in, instead of telling yourself negative things like “You’re so stupid” or “what is wrong with you?” Just breathe, literally stand there and focus on your breath. Take time to look at what’s going on around you, do you think the whole world is going to stop because of that one mistake you made?

If you don’t feel comfortable doing this in public, go somewhere that you’ll have more privacy and focus on your breathing. There are many breathing exercises you can do to lower your temper. Breathing helps you to relax, it puts things into perspective, we tend to think about things that can happen in the future because of our mistakes but we forget about the present moment.

The next time you mess up, just count to ten when it comes to how many inhales and exhales you take. If you’re really feeling stressed then you can take one deep breath in and one deep breath out.

Have a breathing exercise ready to go for the next time you get mad at yourself. Remember, breathing is just one of the many ways to stay strong when it comes to messing up.

Breathing also teaches you patience, the mistake you just made may be trying to show you something that is crucial for your future, so instead of beating yourself up about it just look at it as a learning lesson.

Remember That Life Goes On

No matter how bad you think the moment is, life goes on. You’ve witnessed this happen to you from when you were young, remember that bad grade you got on one of your tests when you were younger? You probably thought that your life was at its worst at that moment but a few days later you moved on and worried about the next test that was coming.

We don’t give ourselves enough credit for our ability to move on so quickly. Now, there are mistakes that stick with us for a while but, we always have the opportunity to let them go. It’s about how badly we want to let those mistakes go, some of those mistakes have made us into the person we are today.

They’ve helped us learn more about ourselves and the life around us, and we can’t forget how much they have taught us about people as well. It’s okay to mess up, everyone does it, you’re definitely not the first. You’ll have other opportunities to learn from these mistakes or even redeem yourself, you just need to be patient.

You may mess up today or tomorrow but it is bound to happen, don’t beat yourself up about it just learn. Being strong in these scenarios will help you in the future with even more obstacles. I’ll leave you with a quote from Ingrid Weir that says

“Your past doesn’t define you. Only your present and your future. If your life is screwed up, stop making excuses. What are you going to do about it today?”

A young adult who’s writing is geared towards self-improvement and self care. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”

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