Being the “Lame” Friend

Have fun on your own time

Brandon Bell
6 min readDec 15, 2021


In every friend group, there’s that friend that doesn't really like to do much. The reason why these friends are still around is that they’ve just been comfortable with being themselves, also that’s just how they are.

I’m one of those friends and at times, I really dislike it. Many of the friends you have like this are just not comfortable going out much and they rather stay inside and watch a movie.

You can call them “lame” but they’re just living their life the same way they’ve been doing it all their life. Eventually, they’ll come around and they’ll go out every now and then but you should never force them to.

One thing you don’t want to do is harass your friends and make them feel bad about them not doing much. To be honest, sometimes I need a little push to get out of the house and to live life but there’s a limit to everything.

Some of your friends will be more than happy to go out with you but you will have some friends who are conservative and want some more alone time than others.

You might see that your friends who don’t go out much aren’t the happiest with their life at the current moment, that’s when you can step up and invite them to some sort of event you have in mind.

“Lame” friends have their pros and cons, just like you do yourself. Keep in mind that everyone has different needs and the way you live your life is not the same way someone lives their life.

Having an open mind like this will allow you to be more relatable to the different kinds of friends you have and you’ll know when is the right moment to ask these people if they want to go out or not.

The way how my friends get me out of the house is by inviting me to somewhere we both like and enjoy, don't think about how you’re going to have fun. Think about where you and your friends are going to have fun, it makes the relationship a lot smoother.

Your Friends Will Have Fun Without You

If you are the “lame” friend, you should know that regardless of how you feel or what you say, your friends are going to have fun without you. It’s not like you’re this missing piece for them to have a good time.

Of course, if you were there, it would make the situation better for everyone, and you would be having a good time as well. The choice for you to stay at home is totally up to you, no one is counting on you to go out, just know that your friends are going to have fun without you regardless.

You should want them to have fun anyways, if you’re hoping for your friends to be worried about you the whole time you’re out, then those aren't really your friends and you’re not being a good friend to them.

Yes, those thoughts do come to mind every now and then but don't worry about them too much. You should push yourself to go out with your friends at least once in a while so that you don't become a ghost to the group.

As you get older schedules start to change with your friends and everyone isn't as available as they were a few years ago. Make the most out of the time you do get to spend with friends and even if you don’t feel like going out, do so anyway because you never know when you’re going to see them again.

It may take a whole lot of planning and there will be times where plans get canceled but if you put the effort in, your friends will appreciate it. I try to stay away from social media if I’m staying inside on a Friday night, I’m not trying to see everyone out at a party while I’m trying to clear my mind.

If you think you’re going to have regrets when going out, then go out because your friends sure aren't going to have any. If you’re an introvert, trust your gut, but you should also be getting out of your comfort zone every moment you get.

Learn From Others Mistakes

Sometimes your friends are going to go out at the most ridiculous times of the night and you’re going to be sleeping. Don’t feel entitled to drag yourself out of bed just to meet with your friends late at night.

You’ll also see that one of your friends in the group will regret their decision for even going out that late. You have to be okay with saying no because people and even your friends will try to take advantage of you.

When this regret is apparent to you, you won't want to go through that same feeling. Some people look back at it as memories but it ends up catching back up with them later on.

Learn from others’ mistakes as much as you can, as a friend who doesn't do a whole lot, your life still needs to be filled with things you like to do. You become a professional observer after a while because you witness what things go good and what things go bad.

It doesn't take much for me to learn from someone’s mistakes, I observe I listen, I see and there’s nothing I can really do in their situation but learn. You get in a lot less trouble when you’re the friend that doesn't do much, when you’re alone watching t.v. or playing video games, you're keeping yourself away from people who live a life full of negativity.

Have you ever been able to sense someone with evil or dark energy? It makes you uncomfortable and it makes you want to do better with your life. Being the “lame” friend isn't that bad but you do start to wonder what makes you like that.

Well, you don't live an exciting lifestyle and that may have been the case all of your life. If you’re younger, have fun and live life the best way possible you can, even if you don't know-how.

More Time to Think

It’s good to do nothing at times, you have more time to think about life. Thinking is an activity, yes it’s a habit and we do it unknowingly at almost every second but it’s what runs our lives.

Our mindset towards life is what allows us to excel and to become the best version of ourselves. Having a great mindset comes with giving ourselves to think with intention, allowing our minds to tell us what is wrong in our lives and what is right.

This is something that I’m guilty of not doing regularly, if everyone was to spend time thinking, we would realize that the world doesn't revolve around ourselves, it revolves around everyone.

You don't have to go out with your friends every night, instead, sit on your bed, couch, or floor and just think about everything. You’ll be more enlightened than you thought.

Make every situation better, who cares if you’re “lame” be yourself. Sorry for using the word “lame” so much, I just don't care too much about the word because I know who I am. I’ll leave you with a quote from Franz Kafka that says

“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen.”



Brandon Bell

A young adult who’s writing is geared towards self-improvement and self care. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”