You’ve probably been told to never stop learning, to always be a student of life. It can be hard to do this when you can’t even learn from yourself. The world provides so many topics to learn from and there will never be an excuse to where you cant learn something new. Even some of the world's wisest people know that they don't know everything.
The goal as a human on this earth shouldn't be to try and learn everything but to try and learn as much as you can. The conversations that we have with ourselves are a big part of how we live our lives. They’re in charge of how we view the world as well, only if other people could understand what we were thinking at times. Then again, that would probably lead to more heated conversations than we already have today.
You need to start asking yourself more questions, whether it’s about a certain somebody you like or what you’re going to have for lunch tomorrow. Your brain loves it when you ask yourself questions, it allows you to think, it allows you to be who you are destined to be.
Over time your thoughts and opinions will change about certain things without you even realizing. These inner psychological events happen when you ask yourself questions. Start paying more attention to these questions and you’ll unlock answers about yourself that you’ve always wanted to know.
Often, you may let these questions past by in your head, not giving them too much thought because you think that little voice in the back of your head is somewhat against you. Newsflash, it’s your “little voice” for a reason, instead of viewing it as annoying, learn how to work with it. You’re not happy because you don’t know what happiness means to you.
Ask yourself what makes you happy and what would make you happier
You don’t realize what’s in front of you. You’re able to read this article, so you have something. Something is always better than nothing.
You see other people who are happy and you get envious. Little do you know that person is only expressing happiness through the moments you see them. They have their down moments as well.
You probably do this with strangers more often than you do this with anyone who’s close to you. Imagine you’re casually walking into your local neighborhood grocery store and you see a couple that is laughing so loud that they catch your attention. You think to yourself “wow, they’re so happy,” and then of course, as a human you start to pity yourself saying something like “why can’t I be that happy?” This is where the mistake of our human nature usually comes into play, we let that question of “why can’t I be that happy” fade away.
When that thought fades aways we’re doing ourselves an injustice. We are depriving ourselves of an answer that has the potential to change our lives. First of all, stop comparing your happiness to other people’s happiness, this will get you nowhere with that kind of mindset.
Figure out what’s making you happy in your life right now. If you don’t consider yourself to be a happy person right now, think of some things that bring you joy in your life right now. It may be your kids, friends, or favorite restaurant in the city. Whatever it is, make sure that you know that these things bring you happiness. That way you will appreciate them more the next time they’re in your life.
Next, ask yourself what would make you happier in life right now. It may be a new house, a new job, or a new partner.
Would these things really make a difference in your life?
It’s always good to know how to differentiate the things that you think will give you happiness and the things that you know will give you happiness.
Write down your spontaneous questions for later
So it should be pretty clear that we tend to let many questions pass through our minds. We can’t rely on ourselves to always remember these questions, so we need to write them down.
It doesn't really matter where you make a note of them, just as long as it’s somewhere tangible. You should make two sections for you questions when writing them down, one section could be your “basic questions that have to do with questions you might’ve thought about in the past but don’t have major importance to you.
You can make another section with harder questions that have to do with things that you find yourself thinking about all day or all of the time. This will keep your mind organized and efficient letting you spend more time thinking about some questions more than others. When you ask yourself a question in your head, you may not be thinking about how that question could help you find more happiness.
A lot of your potential to be happy comes from these questions. You may be with a group of people that you thought you liked but something may happen during the interaction where you end up asking yourself why you even hang out with these people in the first place.
You may not be able to think about them right there at the moment but you can write it down on your phone and save it for later. That way when you’re getting ready for bed or when you’re alone, you can start to give this question more thought.
Your thoughts are more concise when you don’t have too many external distractions. You will realize that you’ll ask yourself a lot of these questions when you’re surrounded by people whether they're your friends or not. Sometimes just observing random strangers will make you question your own life.
Create your own answers
There will always be people who know more than you do. For that fact, it’s good to take advice from others but sometimes we need to do some work ourselves. It’s not easy to come up with answers for questions that you have for yourself but these answers are usually the best ones.
You can take some advice from other people and mix it in with some of the knowledge you already have about those questions. Some answers that you will find from other people can be very broad, this has to do more with researched answers.
The advice people give you is based on their experiences and what worked for them. They’re not responsible if their advice doesn't work for you. At the end of the day, it’s an option you could either take or not.
The answers that you eventually create for yourself usually have a special impact on you. Something about being able to figure out your own problems gives you a boost of confidence.
Making up your own answers will let you know where your head is and what your mindset is like. Just like when you write down the questions you have for yourself, you want to save those answers all well. You never know when you may be facing a similar problem in the future.
Not only should you save your answers but you should also share them. If someone is asking for advice for a similar situation that you’ve dealt with then you can refer them to answers that have helped you. Things like car trouble or some life-advice. Learn how to answer your own questions and you will figure out what makes you happy.
There is no exact solution for happiness, but if you were to ask yourself more questions then you would figure out what it means to you. Stop ignoring that annoying voice in the back of your head and learn to work with it.
I’ll leave you with a quote from Sanhita Baruah that says
“Often the most tricky questions are the ones we secretly know the answers of.
What are you running from?
What are you waiting for?”