How to Be a Calmer Person

Just relax and don’t take things too seriously

Photo by Zac Durant on Unsplash

Have you ever met someone who happens to be very calm? Their presence is refreshing and makes you question how you’re living your life. People who are calm seem to have life figured out, they’re unbothered and they don’t get too upset when something doesn’t go their way.

Experience is a simple answer to why people have become calm over time. They know that taking things too seriously can only make a situation more stressful. No one likes to be stressed but when trying to become a calmer person, you realize that stress is inevitable. It’s something that always comes back no matter how good your life is going but it’s also something that can be removed from your life for the time being.

Using stress as a reminder that life can have its good and bad moments will help you find balance. What are the characteristics of someone who is calm? They may have a soothing voice or talk in a very light tone, their posture seems to always be laid back, and most importantly they always seem content with wherever they are.

People like this can be in a burning building and still have the relaxation as a swan in the water. The truth behind our outbursts that come from madness is we don’t think in those situations. When somebody pisses you off, you are more than likely to speak how you’re feeling at that moment, what you don’t realize is the tone that you’re speaking with and the threatening body movements that come from your anger as well.

You want the other person to be as angry as you are, which doesn’t really solve anything. Your expectation is that they will understand how mad they are making you and that they will leave you alone. A person who produces consistent calmness doesn’t see any good in taking part in anger. It’s simply a waste of energy and makes situations longer than they need to be. Let’s look at a few ways to becoming a calmer person.

Smile When You Don’t Want to

Smiling can be hard at times when it’s not natural. How often do you smile a day? Whether if it’s genuine or not, as humans we tend to smile a lot throughout the day. Of course, we all have different perspectives on whether smiling is worth it or not but there are a few times that we smile that everyone can relate to.

Brushing our teeth in the morning causes us to smile, to make sure that we don’t have anything stuck in our teeth or so that we’re not missing a spot when brushing.

Another common scenario is when out in public if we happen to make eye contact with someone older or younger than us then we often make a smile because it’s the nice thing to do.

Lastly, we have those genuine smiles that come once in a while throughout the day where somebody either makes us laugh or makes us feel really good about ourselves. Smiling even when we don’t want to can remind us to be calmer in situations that are uncalled for.

A smile is compelling, it has the impact to make someone’s day, and it gives the illusion that our life is good at the moment. People who are calm always seem to have a slight smile on their face, it’s never a huge smile, but one that is very subtle. They know that keeping this positive look on their face will help people see them as less intimidating and it helps them to be still when they may not be having a good day.

Start practicing the art of smiling whenever you run into an obstacle in the near future. An example of this can be when you’re running late to work for whatever reason, don’t yell at the traffic light to turn green, instead, give it a smile and let the light change when it wants to.

Another small exercise that you can implement into your daily practice is taking a 10-second nap. 10 seconds may not seem like a lot of time but just closing your eyes for a few moments and letting your mind wander off to wherever it wants to can be very calming to the body and brain.

Relaxing Your Muscles

When’s the last time your muscles have been relaxed? I’m guilty about having a very tight body to the point where I can’t focus on my work but people who have calmness in their lives seem to always have a relaxed body.

Yoga is one of the most practiced forms of exercise today and was made to help the mind and the body find balance. If you want to be calmer then you should start looking into some Yoga classes close to you. If you don’t have time to attend a Yoga class then you can do small stretches throughout the day.

Find a small space to move your body around and stretch out any areas in your body that may feel tense. This will translate throughout the rest of your day and will help you to move your body with full grace and range of motion, ultimately helping you become calmer.

Breathing is a good way to relax your muscles as well, oftentimes we have so much stress built up in our minds that it begins to trickle down into our bones, making us tight. What breathing does in this case is to help you have the same calmness that you have in one part of your body in other parts of your body.

Listen to some guided mediations when feeling tightness in your body, they will tell you how to focus your breathing into a particular area to relieve tension.

Give yourself a massage when you can, sometimes you’re going to have to take matters into your own hands when it comes to soreness and tightness in the body. Massage your neck as much as possible because this is the part of your body that receives the most stress due to being on your phone all day. When you find calmness in your body, you then help everyone else to feel calm when they’re around you as well.

Photo by Simon Rae on Unsplash

Let Life Take Its Course

You will be in a calmer mood when you let life do what it has to do. When you try to interfere with nature and it taking its course, it will fight back. You’ve experienced this feeling when doing something that you know isn’t right like lying or looking out only for yourself and not others.

Don’t focus on what you can’t control, it’s not productive to do so. All this does is lead you to more anxiety and frustration with your life. Even if you don’t like how things are going, be patient, the plan that was made for you in this world is not always going to be easy to go through and it won’t always be pretty to look at.

Nature has a way of figuring itself out, it does what it has to do in order to make everything how it’s supposed to go. It’s all cause and effect, because you put calm energy into the world, the effect of that is everyone around you will be calm as well.

People who you see being calm know that they are not in control of a lot of things but that they are in control of their mind, their knowledge is something that can’t be taken away from them. Be in flow with the world around you and you will feel a lot more at peace.

Individuals who are calm have a certain aura around them that invites people in and lets them reflect on their lives. Change your life by being calmer and start being in flow with everything around you. I’ll leave you with a quote from Elizabeth George that says

“Gentleness is strength under control. It is the ability to stay calm, no matter what happens.”

A young adult who’s writing is geared towards self-improvement and self care. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”

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