How to Be a Nicer Person Without Being Fake

Being genuine is an option, not an obligation

Photo by Tom Parsons on Unsplash

Being nice to somebody can really make their day, you don’t know what they’re going through just by a first glance. At times we assume people are doing good because they may be well dressed or they have some designer on but that doesn’t take away from the fact that they’re human too. Humans go through good and bad times, it’s what makes our life balanced.

Often we let these bad times take a hold of our emotions for a longer period of time than when we’re happy. Knowing this can help us be more understanding of each other and also allow us to be more genuine as well.

Being nice to someone doesn’t take much work, there are many things that you can do to help someone be in a more positive mood. It’s not easy to be nice all of the time, we become so focused on ourselves that we forget about others’ emotions. But these times of stress are needed so that we know what it’s like to experience how someone else may be feeling in a sense.

We all get sad, angry, and stressed, but we have the ability to be happy as well. When one person is happy, it gives someone else who’s around them a greater chance to be happy.

Has someone ever made your day by being nice to you?

This feeling that we get from someone else stays tucked in our pockets throughout the entire day and helps us to spread that joy in every person that we meet and in everything that we do. It’s easier to get stuff done when we’re in a good mood, even writing this blog post now is fueled by me having a peaceful and happy morning.

Now, imagine if I were to spread this positivity to somebody else today by being nice. This would help them to spread that same positivity onto someone who they meet as well. It’s a chain effect of happiness that the world needs, especially during 2020.

Giving people genuine compliments

Giving someone a genuine compliment can go a long way. People have insecurities just like you and at times people feel like they’re invisible. Other than feeling invisible, we also feel self-conscious about our appearance, the way that we are, or the way how we act.

We are so scared to be ourselves because we don’t like the fact that everyone may not like us. Show someone that you appreciate their presence by giving them a compliment. It’s just as easy as saying “hello” to someone you’ve never met before.

Start trying this at work where you may have customers you haven't seen before. Notice something on them that you find unique and give them a compliment about it. You can say something like “I like the color of your shoes” instead of just saying “I like your shoes.”

The second option is nice but it’s likely they’ve heard it before or they know that you didn’t put much effort into the compliment. In 2020, an easy way to compliment somebody is with their mask.

A few days ago, there was a customer who walked into my job with a mask that had “baby Yoda” on it and I told her that I liked her mask. You can tell that she liked the compliment but what would’ve blown her more away was if I complimented her on the picture that was on the mask, this also could’ve potentially started a conversation between me and her as well.

Make sure that you’re making eye contact with that person too when giving them a compliment, this lets them know that you’re being genuine. This also makes them give you eye contact back to making the back and forth hold more weight as well. This is the weight that builds connections and future friendships as well.

Think of people you can help

Think of some people who you can help, the more you help people the more you’ll understand the importance of being nice. Try to do this daily, even if you don’t take action with those people, try to think of a few that come to mind. This helps you to remember more of the people that you can help rather than people you feel like you can’t.

Write some of these people down in your journal so that they don’t become a thought that just fades away. Some of the people can include your friends and family, or some people who you may have had an interaction with but nothing more.

The first group of people is people that you should enjoy helping, when you're helping your friends and family with something that they need help with, it makes their life easier and helps your relationship stay good. When helping the second group of people it may feel awkward or it may even feel unneeded, but it is.

A lot of the people who you meet occasionally are people that are good to have in your life. Not all of them but just some or a few of them. These acquaintances may not want your help and that’s ok, you still did something nice for them which was offering help, it’s their choice whether they want to accept it or not.

Being nice can be tricky with both of these groups because they may start to take advantage of you little by little. Make a promise to yourself now that you won’t let these people take over your life and that you’ll still make time for yourself when you can. Being nice to these people should and can be done often but not too often to the point where you’re taking on other people’s problems as your own.

Photo by Nicholas Bartos on Unsplash

Learning to be thankful

Do we say thank you enough to each other? Some of us do but is it being said with gratitude, and I mean true gratitude. Saying “thank you” has become such a natural saying that it’s not even effective anymore. We say it with a frown on our face or we sometimes mumble it because we forget the importance that’s behind the two words.

When you’re telling someone “thank you” you’re essentially telling them that you are thankful for what they’ve done for you and not for them as a person. In order to switch this narrative around, we have to start saying it with more enthusiasm and followed by a head nod with eye contact to show these people that we really mean it.

Also, choosing when to say “thank you” is important too because if we say it too much or too little then it loses its meaning. Start showing your gratitude for someone by doing something nice for them like opening the door for them or offering to buy their lunch.

Be an example for others, if you want other people to be nicer to you and to the world then you have to lead by example. Action speaks louder than words. As Gandhi said, “be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

Being nice has its pros and cons but the pros outweigh the cons in this situation. You never know who’s life you can change by being nice to them. I’ll leave you with a quote from Whoopi Goldberg that says

“When you are kind to someone in trouble, you hope they’ll remember and be kind to someone else. And it’ll become like a wildfire.”

A young adult who’s writing is geared towards self-improvement and self care. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”

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