How to Build Self Confidence Little By Little
Where does confidence come from? Most people would say it comes naturally but it comes from experience. Experience helps you learn so much about the world and about yourself in so many ways. The more obstacles you go through and overcome the more confidence you begin to have in yourself.
Being confident doesn’t mean that you’re good at all things or that you can handle any conflict with no worry, it means knowing what your good and not good at. In some circumstances, you will be more confident than in others.
For example, if you’re someone who is really good at writing small essays then you may be confident enough to start your own blog, but if you were asked to write a book, you may be a little intimidated. The only way to build confidence in yourself and in different areas of your life is to go through those difficult situations.
You won’t be confident enough to write a book until you go through the whole process of writing and publishing. Once you do that once, then you won’t be as scared to put out a second book because your more familiar with the process and what it takes to write a book.
Not everyone is born with confidence, for most, it takes time to develop the trait. Once you do have confidence, it’s hard to explain where it comes from or giving someone the exact blueprint for how you got it.
Look at many famous athletes, Lebron James is considered to be if not the best basketball player of all time. Yes, he was gifted with a natural talent for the game and the height for it but he still had to go through obstacles in order to be as confident as he is on the court now.
He had to go against different competition every week in high school to solidify his name and he had to keep pushing. His confidence came over time, his skill level is the same as well, again he is naturally athletic but he had to put his body through different workouts to become more comfortable with his skill set. Building self-confidence takes work and time, even if you were born with it.
Embrace your natural gift
What’s something that you find easy to do or what’s something that you’re naturally good at? If you can’t figure this out for yourself, you can then ask the people who know you most. Ask them what they think you’re naturally good at. They have observations about you that you’ve probably never thought of.
Whenever you do come up with your answer, embrace it! This is what makes you different, this is what separates you from everyone else. It can be hard to figure this out on your own or even with the help of friends and family but think back to some of the things you may have accomplished in your life.
Maybe you’re a really good student and you have a history of making the honor roll more than a handful of times in your life or maybe you’re a really good cook and people love to eat what you make. Your gift can be anything, even if it’s something that not many people but yourself considered talented, your opinion is the one that matters the most. Use that talent to become more confident in yourself.
Your good at something, which is better than being good at nothing. Have more appreciation for what you’re good at. Be thankful for it every time you wake up in the morning or whenever you’re feeling down in the dumps. Your natural gift is something that you can fall back on when you’re not feeling confident.
If you have a job interview coming up, tell yourself that “if this doesn’t work out, I’m still good at….” This will relieve a lot of pressure that you may have put on yourself. This is not only helpful for job interviews but for other scenarios as well. If you have a date with someone you’ve never met before and your nervous then tell yourself the same thing. Who said that building self-confidence was going to be easy?
Be true to yourself
Become comfortable with who you are as a human being. You may not be in the same shape as some of your favorite celebrities and you may not live the life that some of your friends do but it’s all good. Your life is going how it should be, you’re not meant to be in that stage of your life right now.
Don’t you see what you have in front of you? A life that is not similar to anyone else, this is something special that you should cherish. The ability to be yourself is in alignment with self-confidence, you could say that they’re the same thing.
What’s different about being yourself and having confidence is that you know what it’s like to be yourself because you do it every time you’re alone. You know, it’s the way how you act when you’re home alone and no one is watching you. The person who’s in the car singing their favorite songs without a care in the world. If you can be a similar version of this person in public then you will be closer to self-confidence than you’ve ever been.
Having the mindset of not caring what anyone thinks of you will help you in situations where you may lack confidence. When we lack confidence, we get so nervous to walk up to that person that we like or so nervous to ask someone for help. When you realize that it’s not the end of the world if those people don’t see eye to eye with you then you won’t be as afraid.
If anything, it’s going to feel like a breeze the next time you do it. This can be hard at times to do, but know that you’re gaining people’s respect when you do this. You’re also gaining respect yourself as well. You’re training your mind for similar obstacles that may occur in the future. Don’t worry about what others think about you, it’s out of your control anyway.
Make self-improvement a lifestyle
The more you work on yourself, the happier you will be. Self-improvement starts when you want it to. If you’re constantly complaining about things that you want for yourself and are not doing anything about it then of course you’re going to lack confidence.
Once you put in the work and you understand the amount of work you’re putting in then you know that anything is possible. Self-improvement allows you to be honest with yourself. You don’t have to hide anything, this journey is for you and you only, no one else can steer the direction for the path to improving yourself.
Start by building new habits, make sure that they're small too when you first start out. Building new, easy, and small habits will give you the confidence to start building bigger and more effective ones in the future. Part of self-improvement is making sure that you’re feeling good. One way you can start feeling better is by dressing better. So, that means working on your style and wearing clothes that make you feel more attractive.
Don’t worry if you lack confidence in yourself now, it’s a process that will come to you eventually. If you want to speed up the process just a little bit then start working on yourself today. I’ll leave you with a quote from Jason Day that says
“When you have a lot of confidence and you feel like nobody can beat you, it’s game over for everyone else.”