How to Use Solitude the Right Way
Have you been spending a little more time alone than usual? It’s not bad if you’re doing this but it’s something that you should be aware of. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, solitude is something you can use to re-evaluate your life if you feel like you’re going in the wrong direction.
Taking time to yourself is something that many authors do when they’re in the process of writing their books. They may be around a lot of people during the day but at night or whenever they choose to write, they’re in a space where they’re alone with not many distractions.
You need to be on your own to think clearly at times, you can't have your own thoughts when you’re constantly out with your friends. They give you ideas and they’re constantly trying to change your perspective to theirs.
Having friends that do this to you isn’t a negative all of the time but it can be when you’re always around them. It can be fun hanging around people you like all of the time but eventually, it gets draining.
If you want to keep that balance of self-care and care for others you’re going to have to spend some time alone. Being alone is also a good skill to have because when you enter a new environment to live, work, or socialize, you’ll be alone for a little bit.
Eventually, you adapt to these new spaces but you’re going to be on your own for that small amount of time that usually feels like a long time. You want to be comfortable with yourself in situations like this because it will happen often and if you freak out when in a position like this it will be hard to recover from. Don’t look at solitude as something only introverts do, look at it as something that somebody who loves themself would do.
Plan Out Your Time Alone
Once you come to the conclusion that you want to take some time alone, you need to be smart about it. The best way of doing this is by planning out how long you will be in solitude.
You’re probably thinking that solitude is something that is supposed to come naturally and you’re right, but most of the time we know that we need solitude but we won’t embrace it.
You’ll be out with your friends one night and wish you weren’t there and then without realizing you’ll end up doing the same thing the night after. As soon as you get feelings of wanting to be alone, start thinking about when a good time to do so would be.
It’s best that you strive for a date that’s close to when you’re having those feelings, that way the planning stays fresh in your head. It can be hard to plan stuff out like this because as humans our feelings are so unpredictable.
Even if we see a consistency in our behavior for a few days, it can automatically change the day after that. You’ll know when you need to have some time alone, it’s a feeling more than anything.
You’ll start daydreaming about the things you could get done if you were alone, you could finally get some rest and it’s almost like a mini-vacation. Make sure that your keeping this plan to yourself while it’s in development because you don't want to have anyone thinking that something is wrong with you.
People will respect that you took time to plan for something like this and they will see how important it is to you. Remember, you’re not going to miss anything while you’re taking this time alone.
It may feel like you are but life goes on and there will be more things you will be able to attend to in the future when you come back fresh from solitude retreat. You’re not putting yourself in jail by doing this, you’re just taking some time out to get your mind right.
Others Will Understand
Don’t worry about what other people have to say about you being in solitude. People are going to have opinions about you anyway so do what’s right for you and for your friends as well.
You’re actually doing your friends a favor when taking time to yourself because you’ll be coming back as a better version of yourself from the last time you saw them. Life is scary at times and having people constantly in your ear telling you what you should be doing is annoying.
Never let other people bring you down with their words completely, it's hard not to but this is why you need solitude at times. For the simple fact that being around people every day at every moment is exhausting.
Even if your friends and family have their opinions about you taking time to yourself, they will understand believe it or not. They may not say it but they know because everyone goes through times like this in their life. You probably know of a friend right now who is taking some time to themself.
If you feel like you’re alone when doing this then just remember that even the people you look up to whether it’s a celebrity or someone you know personally, they’ve taken time to themselves as well.
This isn’t an uncommon thing in the world no matter how much people try to say it’s “weird” or “introverted” it's a natural part of life and it’s necessary for growth.
You’ve probably taken time to yourself before but you didn't refer to it as solitude. You’re in charge of how you want to live your life and even if you want to be a people person, you’re going to have to consider solitude.
Also, solitude can be used as a strategy, you use solitude to your advantage so you can learn more about yourself and work on things that make you more valuable to the world.
Taking Time to Yourself Is Important
The time you take for yourself has a lot more value than you think. Being around other people is great and it expands your mind but when are you going to have the time to review all that you’ve learned?
It’s almost like going to school and you learn about a new fascinating (or not) subject for the first time. When you get home and start on the homework the topic is still fresh in your mind because you’re taking time to put to the test all that you learned.
When you come back home from school and you don't start on your homework right away and you play video games, go out with friends, etc… It’s harder for you to remember that information when you finally do start the homework or when you have a test.
Remember that you will come back better than you were in the past when you get out of solitude, your mind will be open to new ideas and you’ll have a new perspective of life.
This is not a setback whatsoever, it’s a strategy for your future success. At the end of the day, you have the choice to use solitude to your advantage or not.
Your respect for introverts might of went up a little bit after reading this article. Let me know what you think of the idea of solitude. I’ll leave you with a quote from Charlotte Brontë that says
“I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.”