The 3 Kinds of People That Will Make You the Better Version of Yourself

When looking for new friends, choose wisely

Photo by Zachary Nelson on Unsplash

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” said motivational speaker Jim Rohn.

We all have friends of some sort or people who we hang around with often. We cherish these people for their unique personalities and also for their similarities to us.

As we get older and gain new experiences, there’s a time where we’ll face having to make new friends. The friends that are in our lives now have somehow and someway trusted us for years without ever leaving. It’s nice to have them around, but what do we do when we encounter a new group of people that we barely know.

Once we do get over our shyness and have the courage to introduce ourselves, how do we know that these people are the right fit for us? Well, it mostly comes down to the things that we need in our lives currently. Mostly having to do with what we need emotionally.

When looking for a new friend, we try to see the good in them, we want to know if that person can relate to us. Unfortunately, even though we’re all human beings, we’re not always going to be compatible with one another. So, it would be easier to categorize these people into three possible personalities or at least see if they represent any of these personalities.

These categories include:

  • The “motivational” friend
  • The “no-filter” friend
  • The “laidback” friend

Each of these types of friends has the ability to help us grow into a better version of ourselves. No matter how we are feeling, these friends will be there for us and will give us the push that we need to keep going.

Making friends isn't easy, but it can become easier to choose certain people who would be most cut out for us due to what we believe in and what we see in people.

The “motivational” friend

Here we have somebody who seems to know a lot about the world around them, due to experience and their distinctive resume. We need this type of friend in our lives for times where we want to give up. Motivating yourself can only go so far, it’s always good to have someone who is going to support you no matter what happens.

Usually, friends that give off a motivational vibe have a certain drive in them. They have a future that is bright, you know that they will do whatever it takes to be successful.

They’re not worried about the naysayers, they’re only worried about what they can do to get better. It’s easy to be drawn to these people because they don’t only talk the talk but they walk the walk. Let's face it, they’re just somebody who you can look up to.

What I find most interesting about people like this is that they can turn any bad situation into a good one. People who are motivated don’t really have time for negativity. It’s just another block in the road for them. Surrounding yourself with these kinds of people will help you to be more driven in your life.

For example, if you see them struggling with money but also have a good attitude about it and they’re doing something to overcome that problem then you will realize that it’s possible for you to be just as brave in the same situation.

If you ever find yourself down and need to hear some uplifting advice, then these are the perfect kind of people to give a call. They know how tough life can be, they understand that you will need a push sometimes and will make sure that you keep your head up.

How do you find a friend like this? Look for someone who is abnormally focused on the work that they’re doing and seems to be in a good mood more times than not.

Where you can meet people like this? In places where people play sports or workout, and even people who work at some of your favorite restaurants. These people are all around, you just have to be observant and look for some of the traits I mentioned above.

The friend that has “no-filter”

We all know some people who just have no-filter on them. As in, they don’t care what people have to say about them and will say what’s on their mind.

Have you ever heard of quotes like “the truth hurts” or “you can’t handle the truth?” These no-filter kinds of people simply do not care how you feel about the truth. They want to let you know how they feel and what they think.

What’s nice about this kind of person is that they will be honest with you. Now, this is not to say that they’ll always say things that you agree with, they will say things that you will not want to hear.

These people remind me of some of the teachers I had in elementary school, where they would call me out for being the class clown and I would deny it, even though that's what I was trying to be.

We need this friend in our lives so that we can have somebody who can keep it real with us. These friends will hold you accountable and will stick in your mind, causing you to do the right thing more often.

When it comes to the advice-giving, be ready to hear something that might make you a little emotional. Remember these people have no-filter for a reason, once they become your friend they’ll say things because they want the best for you. It may be hard to realize this when they’re telling you something that almost feels offensive. Don’t argue back with this person, truly listen to what they have to say. They’re giving you an outside perspective of yourself, how you look to them, not how you look at yourself.

I think you should care about how you view yourself, it’s also good to have the view from a friend once in a while.

How do you find people like this? Look for somebody who isn't too shy and is willing to answer honestly to any question that they’re asked. Many people seem to gravitate towards this person more because of how honest they are.

Where can you find people like this? Place where people are highly competitive like a sporting event or even places where you work. Just remember that you’ll have a love or hate relationship with these people from time to time but they’re for your own good.

The “laidback” friend

Being able to be comfortable around your friend is very important. People who are considered to be “toxic” usually have a hard time keeping people around because they make their company uncomfortable.

People who are laid back tend to make people around them feel at home. They never get too happy or too sad, they’re good at keeping things balanced. They help you to not take yourself so seriously. Sometimes we just have to observe everything that is going on around us and analyze the best solution to problems that we are facing.

People can be laidback in different ways. When you think of somebody who is laidback you may think of someone who’s body is actually being laidback on something and saying things like “don’t even worry about it” or “everything is going to be alright, just relax.” Too much of this isn’t necessarily good for our lives but is good for times where we’re going 100 mph and need to slow down. We don’t realize how fast we’re moving every day and how fast we think about stuff. This is how many important ideas get overlooked and create problems.

Nobody wants to be stressed 24/7, that's why it’s good to have someone who has a laidback approach to life. Usually, these types of people are easy to talk to. They don’t judge and they give you a perspective that will help you to relax.

These are the friends that you call when you’re having a hard time breathing due to anger or stress. They don’t ever get tired of hearing you talk, or at least they do a good job of hiding it. We all need somebody who we can vent to from time to time.

How do you find people like this? Look for people who seem to have a good time by themselves and are not expressing their anger in a violent way.

Where can you find people like this? Usually at places with very “chill” environments like libraries, cafes, or house parties. Laidback people will tell you to take a deep breath when everything feels like it’s going wrong.

Don’t be afraid to be picky when it comes to choosing your friends. It’s hard to differentiate between who is a good candidate and who’s not. The three that I mentioned above are always good to have around.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Misty Copeland that says “

Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.”

A young adult who’s writing is geared towards self-improvement and self care. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”

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