It’s common for us to feel alone, we like interaction because we’re human. This goes for introverts and extroverts, while some introverts like to have only a few friends to talk to every now and then, extroverts like to be in a wide social circle at all times.
As the world is still going through a pandemic, it’s recommended that we stay home. This has been a lonely experience for many and at times it seems like it’s never going to get better. The one or two times you do get to see your friends or family isn’t filling in the gap of social interaction that you need weekly.
Even though for some of us our conditions for social interaction haven’t changed, we still miss having the option to see people when we wanted to. It’s surprising that a lot of us have made it this far and as time goes on, we find ways to cope.
When we do have the courage to meet up with a friend with our mask on, the meeting gets held up due to that person’s busy schedule. This makes us sad initially, even though we tell them that we understand, it’s hard to deal with.
Eventually, we get over the fact that there’s no one to talk to or hang out with at the moment and return to our rooms with confusion. You start to think “well, what do I do now?” You end up going on your phone to go on social media to find some type of gratification that isn’t there at the moment or you might think about starting on some work for school or your job but you don’t think that will give you happiness either.
The feeling of loneliness begins to creep in and negative energy makes its way into our lives, what do we do then?
There’s No One to Bother You
How hard is it to focus on your work when you’re continually being bothered? This can be constant phone calls from one of your friends or somebody in your household calling your name repeatedly. You’re too lovely of a person to turn either of these people down so you end up picking up that phone or running over to the person in your house to make sure that they’re okay.
When you’re alone, this doesn’t become an issue anymore, you have the option to focus more on your work and on yourself. This is crucial for many activities that you may decide to do alone.
This has been a scenario for me when I do my daily meditation. Every now and then, I will get called during one of my sessions and I have to decide whether or not to get up from my seat to go over and see the issue or to stay seated and continue on with the few minutes I have remaining. This is why I love to know that I have an empty house to myself so that I can have a full meditation session in peace.
This is not to say that these people are bothering me constantly or that I don’t like them, sometimes we just need to be alone and that’s okay.
You can start on that new recipe you’ve always wanted to try without anybody asking you “what’s that?” Or telling you that you’re cooking it the wrong way.
Be happy with your time alone because people will end up needing your help with something in the future. It’s good to be helpful when you can but this is why you need to utilize your time alone to get things done. Once you experience this more consistently, you will respect other’s time as well.
If you see someone alone that you know and they’re working on something, instead of starting a conversation like you usually do, you will instead let them be or keep your introduction short and simple.
There’s probably a lot that you don’t know about yourself, living a routine based life is good in some aspects but not for this case. As much as we want to say that we know ourselves, we may not know everything.
Have you ever experienced someone telling you that you do something unconsciously that’s part of your personality? An example of this can be crossing your arms whenever you get anxious around someone or avoid eye contact with an individual when not being completely honest.
These are things you start to realize more when you’re alone. You discover more about yourself through this process, this can either be a wake-up call or something that makes you insecure. Instead of not changing these bad habits, look at the bigger picture, and try to figure out how you can work on these things.
This gives you a chance to be one with your thoughts, how often are you able to think clearly throughout the day? This can be hard when you're dealing with customers all day at work or when you're taking on other people’s problems more than you should.
So, start looking forward to time alone so that you can understand what’s going on in your mind. Your mind may be filled with negative thoughts that cause you to take negative actions. This will lead you into a negative lifestyle and even into depression.
In order to change this lifestyle, we have to start with small changes in our daily lives to become a more positive person. Use your time alone to work on having more positive thoughts, lookup, or come up with positive affirmations to tell yourself when feeling like you’re going into a negative state of mind.
Learning to Love Yourself Again
After we learn more about ourselves, we start to forget what self-love really is. This can hurt us in many ways and more often than not it can defeat us when isolated. During your time of self-isolation, start to work on your confidence. Gaining confidence can be done by taking care of yourself mentally and physically.
When it comes to your mental, use books to put more information in your head to become more knowledgable. When you put in the work to be smart, you will automatically start to feel smart.
Taking care of yourself physically can be done in one way by exercise. Find a workout that you like to do and stick to it for as long as you can. When you look good, you feel good.
Spending time alone will give you a chance to forgive yourself for all the past mistakes you’ve made.
There are so many things you can do when you’re alone that you start to feel free. Having inner freedom is important to becoming numb to loneliness, you don’t ever want to feel limited to someone else’s attention. Observe yourself the next time you’re alone, you will realize that you're not that bad of a person to hang out with. As a matter of fact, you may even begin to love yourself just a little bit more.
When we’re alone, it’s easy for us to feel stuck and unmotivated. With the right practices in place, you will soon figure out that alone time is the best time. I’ll leave you with a quote from M. Scott Peck that says
“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.”