Why It’s Important to Have Productive Conversations With Friends

Self-improvement can be done with a little help sometimes

Photo by Matt Koffel on Unsplash

Do you think you’re having enough productive conversations in your life? A lot of the conversations that you’ve been having are probably about small talk and things you could care less about. This is the type of conversation you want to avoid and learn from at the same time.

Having less small talk with other humans should be a goal that everyone should have. Even though this goal sounds simple, we’ve taken on small talk to be part of our everyday lives.

Sometimes we do it to avoid awkwardness or sometimes we do it because we think it’s the right thing to do. Whenever starting small talk, have you ever thought about how the other person may be feeling once you start? Do you think that what you say is actually enjoyable for them?

Our friends are people who we can go to whether we need a laugh or to share a serious moment with. These are people who are also more likely to have more productive conversations with you than someone you’ve just met or you barely know. Not everyone can be your friend and that's totally fine.

The friends you do have will be there for you and will actually have an interest in what you’re saying. We tend to have conversations with our friends about people, places, and things.

Some of these conversations are unnecessary and can actually lead up to that friendship falling off. You may not notice now but the more conversations you have about nothing, the more your friendship with somebody will begin to weaken.

Think about the friends that stuck around, they’re probably still around because of the important one on one conversations you’ve had with people. It’s hard to explain but these people are still in your life for a reason and that reason may be because of the productive conversations you’ve has with them.

Some friendships don’t work out because of no reason but it’s better to keep conversations like this in the back of your mind.

It’s Easy to Understand Your Friends

Being able to understand your friends is a gift, there are people who you have met or that you will meet where you don’t really understand anything they’re saying.

When you’re able to understand somebody easily, it’s also easy to learn from them as well. Think about the teachers you’ve had in school, the teachers who you were able to learn from the most were easy to understand.

When they explained something to you it made sense, you didn’t have to overthink the situation, it just naturally clicked. This goes for your friends as well, since you’ve known them for so long and understand where they're coming from, you’re able to learn so much from them.

Another thing to think about too when it comes to your friends is that you don’t mind listening to them for a while. Some of your friends probably do like to talk a lot about what they think about a situation or about how they feel, which is actually a blessing in disguise.

The more your friends talk, the more ideas they are able to spread to you. This gives you the opportunity to either earn from their mistakes or learn from their perspective.

Productive conversations need to take place with friends that are easily understandable. These conversations keep you up to date about how the world is and they give you a different perspective on the world as well.

What’s also interesting about having these types of conversations with your friends is that they’re never forced. Productive conversations seem to take place when they need to and happen when both you and your friend are on the same page.

Even if you don’t understand what exactly they're saying you can ask them questions without feeling bad about yourself. Take time to really think about what your friends are saying. Are they giving you information that will help you grow or are they giving you information that will make you fail?

Keeps the Friendship Strong

If you feel like your friendships may be taking a turn for the worse, the reason could be that you’re not having enough productive conversations with them. Productive conversations like the one I’m mentioning don’t always have to be upbeat and enjoyable.

Sometimes, tough conversations are needed in order to keep your friendships alive and well. You may have something that you’re holding back from your friends that can be eating you alive or vice versa. This isn’t healthy for either of you and this is one of the reasons why friends ships don’t work out.

If you have something to tell your friend but you’re nervous about how they will react then you need to be the bigger person and take that risk for the sake of your friendship.

Maybe their reaction won’t be good but don't let that stop you from being honest with them. At the end of the day, they’re human beings too, and wouldn’t you want them to be honest with you? Productive conversations can serve as a reminder of why you guys respect each other so much. The reason that you guys are still friends is because of the amount of respect you have for each other.

Again, some of these conversations may not be easy to have but they are necessary. Look into the past of some of the productive conversations you had with your friends. From that point, did the relationship get stronger or weaker?

You know the power that these conversations can hold when it comes to your friendships so use them to your advantage. If you see that your friends aren’t engaged when trying to spark a conversation like this with them, be patient. Eventually, they’ll understand why you try to have these conversations and will jump in eventually.

It Makes Everyone Feel Good

When you’re talking about self-improvement with your friends and you’re talking about each other’s goals, it makes both parties happy. These conversations bring out the best in you and you’re able to be yourself with your friends which makes it 10 times better.

This gives you a feeling of knowing that you’re doing something right, you don’t know exactly know how it’s going to help you but it feels right. There’s no better feeling when knowing you’ve done something right, especially when it’s about you growing as a person.

Let your friends help you to become a more productive human being. Sometimes the advice they give will help and sometimes it won’t. No one is perfect and not even a certified therapist can give you all the correct answers about your life.

Allow these productive conversations to flow with ease, you can kind of feel them coming when you hear your friend talk about problems in their life or when you have some ideas in mind about your future.

Be productive in all areas of your life, including your friendships because just like every other area, it requires work in order for it to grow. See the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to productive conversations, you will thank yourself later for having so much of them.

Conversations that have to do with productivity are always good for the soul. Keep this in mind when both you and your friends are quiet over the phone. I’ll leave you with a quote from Linda Lam that says

“One good conversation can shift the direction of change forever.”

A young adult who’s writing is geared towards self-improvement and self care. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store