Why You Should Start Living to Impress Yourself and Not Others

A quick guide on how to build more love for yourself

“You've done a great job today and I’m glad that we hired you!” This is something that you have heard your boss say to you once or twice. It feels amazing when you hear this, it becomes something that you want to feel every day when you’re at work.

This is common with many other situations in life where you feel acknowledged for what you did or said. Something starts to feel different to you over time though. Instead of being your honest true self, you start to live a life that makes others happy and not yourself. This is easy to notice but after while gets tiring. You no longer have that sense of joy you felt when you were first being acknowledged.

The reason why we start to live a life for other people’s enjoyment is that we feel like we’ve been overlooked all our life. So, when the opportunity comes to impress somebody and get that genuine “thank you,” we do all that we can to hear it. Sadly, it’s almost like an addiction.

If this is the life you are currently living then I advise you to stop immediately. It may be hard but it’s a step that you will have to take in order to reach self-love. We were trained from a young age to be polite and respectful but when was the last time you gave those things to yourself?

You will not truly love yourself if you are constantly trying to impress others. Don’t you admire those people who seem to be positive all of the time no matter where they are? They even have the ability to transfer some of that positive energy onto you. Here are a few reasons why you should only be trying to impress yourself rather than others.

You Need to Love Yourself in Order to Love Others

Having trouble finding your purpose?

It’s a question that has become common in today’s society. The question contains a lot of pressure, especially towards younger people. The only way to find out what we are good at is to try many things until we hit the nail on what our superpower really is.

I’m 21 years old and I’m still trying to figure out what I'm good at. A few things have stuck with me like photography, reading, and my new passion for writing. These are just three things out of maybe twenty things that I have tried that seem to be enjoyable and profitable.

When you find certain hobbies or skills that you like to work on you will begin to have a lot more respect and love for yourself. These skills become valuable to you, they are things that you can rely on for happiness and motivation. Once you understand this you will begin to see the value in other people as well. You’ll start to see what makes them different and how much their values mean to them.

Once they see that you’re able to acknowledge their special traits then they will have the same respect for you. There won’t be any more difficulty in trying to impress other people. They will gain natural respect for you that goes unsaid and will make you feel great. You’ll also be able to tell people what they need to hear rather than what they want to hear.

“Honesty is the best policy.”

There’s no shame when being honest with somebody, sometimes the truth hurts but it’s beneficial for you and the other party. Work on loving yourself and you will begin to get love from others as well.

Photo by Lê Tân on Unsplash

You, Will, Build The Confidence That You’ve Always Desired

Many of us are not born with elite confidence, it’s something that comes with age and experience. What if I told you that there was a life-hack that could solve all of your problems with confidence? The secret is to build skills in every area of your life.

Now, I’m not saying you’re going to be perfect doing all of those things but your confidence will begin to grow rapidly. When you take on new and uncomfortable projects in your life, you will start to get that experience that I mentioned above.

I was never a big fan of writing, I always loved to read blogs and self-help articles but I could never envision myself writing them. I decided to give it a try and fell in love with it immediately. I am by no means a perfect writer but I have learned many things along the way on my writing journey that has given me the confidence to try other things.

If there is something that you want to do that seems difficult, give it a try. Push yourself to get started and spend time with the craft, you may even be better at it than you thought.

Once you learn more about how gaining experience can have a positive effect on your life then you will start to give more honest advice to your peers and loved ones. You will no longer feel forced to give them a world-class answer, you can just say what you mean from the heart and from your experience. As your confidence starts to build in one part of your life then you will be excited to try new things. You will look at fear differently and will see it more as an opportunity rather than an obstacle.

Since I’ve started writing more consistently, my confidence has grown into making decisions that I was too afraid to make. I don't want to jinx it but I am no longer scared to start a podcast which is something that I’ve always wanted to do. People who you don’t even know will start to admire you for your confidence.

You Won’t Worry About What Other People Think of You

Happiness is a term that can mean many different things to many people. How do we become truly happy? It all depends on what your definition of happiness is. When you are happy, you will not care what other people think about you.

If somebody was to say something negative about you to your face, it wouldn’t affect you because you know that your life is good despite their opinion. This happiness comes from trying to be content with ourselves. Becoming accepting of who you are as a person and embracing your insecurities will allow you to be happy with yourself.

You can read all the self-improvement books and videos that you want but things won’t change until you make a change. Dealing with loneliness can be hard for the average human, it can be a dark feeling that’s annoying to deal with. When you are happy with yourself you’ll look at loneliness in a brighter light. This is the ideal time to keep working on yourself and try new things. This productive time alone will feel enjoyable rather than tiresome.

You’ll start to realize why introverts love time alone and appreciate it so much. Once you take on new activities to dive into then you won’t have time to think about other people. Forner NFL player Albert Haynesworth said: “If you’ve got haters, that means you’re doing something right.” These haters will not be a bother to you, if anything they are just adding more fuel to the fire for your future success.

You will find that some of the world’s happiest and most successful people have haters everywhere they go. It’s so common to them that those negative comments that people say about them bounce off of them like a rubber ball. They got to where they are today due to their ability to ignore the haters that are in their life.

Be bold and live to please yourself and not other people, this is where the root of happiness is usually found. People will start to give you respect for the confidence that you have in yourself.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Meghan Markle that says

“We just need to be kinder to ourselves. If we treated ourselves the way we treated our best friend, can you imagine how much better off we would be?”

A young adult who’s writing is geared towards self-improvement and self care. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store