Many people fail to realize that they are their biggest obstacle, there’s nothing else holding them back but themselves. It’s hard to come to this realization because we’ve been taught to blame others and blame external forces for our own mistakes at times.
We do this to save ourselves from embarrassment and from getting into any trouble. You have a record to keep a hold of and you don’t want people to see you as someone who has made all of these mistakes during your life.
This can also be referred to as your ego, it’s okay to have an ego but you need to know how to treat it. It’s difficult to get rid of your ego just like that, but it’s not difficult to bring it to a calmer state every now and then.
The phrase “you need to let go of your ego” has put too much pressure on humans. We were raised to have an ego and we shouldn't be shamed for having one, as a matter of fact, everyone has an ego. Even the humblest people you know have an ego. They just know when to give less attention to it when needed.
Your ego doesn't define you but your results in life do. All of the decisions you’ve made in the past and the ones you’re making right now do define you in a sense. It may not be what you want to be judged for but that’s the reality of your situation.
Instead of letting these mistakes get to your head and bringing you down, use them to your advantage. Take some responsibility for the choices you’ve made in life, they may have not been the right ones but at the end of the day, you still made some good ones.
You’re still alive today reading this article so that's one. Admit your wrongs and learn from them, this is what most people are not willing to do, instead, they bottle them up and try to hide them from the world because it’s easier for the time being. This is a temporary fix but eventually, if you keep bottling them up, you’ll only put yourself in a state of depression.
You Are Human
People tend to forget their humans half of the time because they watch so many movies where humans are doing the impossible and social media has made us all robots as well. You don’t have to accept being a robot, instead, you can be a human who admits to having bad habits.
Once you do that, you can start to make a change in your life. You should constantly be reminding yourself that you’re human, this will not only make you feel better about the position you’re in right now but you'll be able to forgive yourself more.
When you tell yourself that you’re not human, you’re getting in the way of any potential success that is owed to you in the future. You already have enough obstacles to deal with daily, so why not start with the biggest one which is yourself.
In order to deal with this huge obstacle, you’re going to have to realize that you’re not perfect and that you’ll never be perfect. It’s the truth whether you like it or not, trust me, this is something you need to hear anyways. You can be a perfectionist and try to make things perfect but don't apply those external activities to your internal being.
Why do you want to be so perfect in the first place? Is it so you can impress yourself or so that you can impress others? There are ways other than being perfect to do both of these things, find out your “why” and work from there.
Your “why” will help you create a path that is not blocked by yourself, you will see the potential of what you can do and you will be motivated to do it because it’s your “why.”
Embrace your mistakes when they happen or when you start to think about them. You can write them down in a journal or you can talk to a friend about it. In order for the conversation to go as smoothly as possible with your friends start off by saying you need to get something off of your chest.
This eliminates the awkwardness that would come if you were to just start blurting out all the mistakes you’ve made in your life. Finding a therapist that suits you is also something you can do to unblock yourself from growing.
The next step in your process of getting out of your own way is your decision-making. I’m guilty of making bad decisions in the past and there are some consequences that I have to deal with to this day from them. The decisions you make from this point forward will be very important to your journey of self-improvement.
Even the small decisions you make like what you’re going to eat for lunch are going to start to matter more because let’s be honest, the older you get, the more important decisions become.
Making big decisions is supposed to make you anxious but over time you will start to get more and more confident with your decision making. You gain experience and you realize the pros and cons of every decision you make.
What is there to gain from the situation that is being presented to you and what are you giving up at the same time? You have to ask yourself these questions when making a decision because you are looking out for yourself, you’re looking out for your future.
Even though these decisions that you’re going to start making are a lot more important than your past ones, don’t think about them too much. That’s right, don't overcomplicate a decision you need to make, if a decision is easy to make then it’s easy, if it’s hard to make then treat it like it’s easy.
You don't want to be nonchalant about every decision you make but you will come to realize that there’s a bit of suffering in every decision you make. Today I was invited to go out to lunch with my friends. Knowing that I wanted to start saving my money I was going to decline right away but something told me to think about the situation just a little bit more.
I just finished a long spring semester at school and I finished with good grades, plus I could always eat something from home before I go so I wouldn't spend a whole bunch of money. It’s okay to second-guess a quick decision but never go too deep into it where you begin to stress yourself out.
Learn to Fight
The toughest battles that anyone can face are the ones going on in their head. You have to be aware of the thoughts you’re having because they can be very destructive. This is where most people begin to realize they’re blocking themselves, it all starts in the mind.
Your thoughts become your reality as I say in all of my other blog posts. What are your strengths? If you don't know what your strengths are start asking people who are around you the most.
They know what you’re capable of and you can use these strengths to build more confidence in yourself. You probably have strengths that you’re so used to that you don't even consider them to be strengths, realize what they are and use them while you can.
You’re the only one in the fight when it comes to your mental battles so use what you know about yourself to win. Tell yourself good thoughts and be someone who doesn't block their own path to success.
You’re in your own way, but it’s not too late to clear the path! Work on yourself so that you’re not always getting in mental fights with yourself. I’ll leave you with a quote from Buddha that says
“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.”