One of the most confusing situations that you can ever be in usually includes your thoughts. Have you ever had your thoughts racing to the point where you couldn't think straight? I
t’s a problem that everyone goes through and there are a few ways to stop it but these techniques take a lot of practice and a lot of time to master. These techniques include meditation, mindfulness, and voluntary discomfort.
These are all great techniques that you can use when trying to get a grip on your thoughts but there are some things you can do in the meanwhile that will help you to keep a more steady mind.
When looking at people who are able to control their thoughts, they all usually have some things in common. They seem to be relaxed most of the time and they speak from the heart.
These two observations are usually hard for anyone to implement into their lives but it’s not impossible for them too. Understand that you can be a person with this kind of mindset too. Although there is no quick fix to the solution, you will have a guide to show you what to do each day and how often you should be doing it.
As much as I like to think that I have a steady mind, I’m still practicing to do so daily. Even if you ask anyone who seems to be in control of their thoughts, they’re most likely still practicing too.
It’s uncomfortable to do at first because it seems impossible, and when something seems to be impossible, we tend to give up on it. When we give it to something that we truly wanted to accomplish, we end up with regret and frustration towards ourselves.
If you’re constantly giving up on everything that you try then you will never have peace of mind. You will continue to let your thoughts take over you and you will have no control over them. Do yourself a favor and find a way to persevere this time around and push yourself to stay consistent with these practices so that you can live a more peaceful life.
Learn to Relax Anywhere
Being able to be fully relaxed in any social situation that you are in will not only help you to be more confident with the people around you but you will also have less worry about negative thoughts coming your way. Think about some of the places where you feel most nervous or where you’ve felt the most nervous at.
This may be at a party, a new job, or even the home of someone you’ve just met. When you were in these places you probably weren’t able to relax because that wasn’t your main focus, you were focused on other things.
If you were at a party alone then you may have been more focused on what people may have thought about you, if you were at a new job then you may have been focused on not messing up any tasks that you were assigned to do, and if you were at someone’s house for the first time then you may have been more focused on your safety.
These are all common thoughts that humans have when entering into these spaces but what if you were more focused on being relaxed. You know what it’s liked to be relaxed, you’ve experienced it at least once in your life. You relax your body so that you are more comfortable with where you are standing or where you’re sitting down at.
Relaxing the body starts with the mind, simply take a few deep breaths and focus on the positives of what’s going on around you. Once you’re able to do that, you can then move down to your muscles and relaxing those as well so that you’re not feeling tense.
You’re usually tense when you are nervous, so if you want to be less nervous, you need to not be tense. Even if you need to get away from everyone for a quick moment, make sure that you really take time to do this because for one, it’s part of the practice, and two, you will be able to start using this consistently in the long run.
Write Down Your Thoughts
When you have some time to yourself, you’re going to want to have a journal where you can write your thoughts down. Just like how your mind starts to race when around other people, your mind also starts to race when you’re alone.
In this situation, you may be able to deal with it a little better because you don’t have any social pressure weighing on you but it can still be just frustrating. Invest in a journal that is easy to write in and that makes you more at peace when you look at it.
You can usually find journals like this at your local bookstores, they have a variety of different journals to choose from, and they have nice pens to go with them.
Spend some time picking out a journal that suits you, you need to remember that this journal is going to be visible to you for the next year or so, so pick wisely.
When you decide to write in this journal, make sure to write exactly what’s on your mind. Even if these thoughts are negative and random, make sure that you're getting them onto the page.
You may end up writing one sentence or you may end up writing a full page. Whatever the situation is, never force yourself to write more than you want to, and don’t have a time limit set for your writing.
Write for however long you want to. When I journal before bed, there are days where I only write down a few sentences and there are some nights where I write almost two pages.
Your journal needs to become your best friend at this point and should be used for times when your mind is racing and when it is not. Start off by journaling once a week, as you get more comfortable with the process you can start to write in it daily.
Analyze what you wrote down the next day or when you’re finished and come up with a plan of how you’re going to get rid of these negative thoughts, the answer usually lies within the words.
Stand Up to Yourself
Your negative thoughts are very powerful and you have to be able to stand up to them. Having a mental conflict with yourself and your thoughts is a real thing and it can cause a lot of stress.
In order to be in control of your thoughts, you have to be brave and tell yourself what you’re capable of. Where do these negative thoughts come from?
They come from past experiences, failures, mistakes, everything that is normal about a human. Stop living in the past and live in the moment, you choose to be happy and you choose what thoughts to have. You’re going to have to make a change eventually so why not do it now while you still have some control over your thoughts.
Take care of your mind by doing breathing exercises and saying your affirmations, but you need to eventually tell yourself to get a grip so that you can ultimately become the best version of yourself. That’s what it’s all about anyway right?
“Don’t forget the happy thoughts, all you need is happy thoughts” as Chance the Rapper said in one of his songs. The choice is yours to have peace of mind or not. I’ll leave you with a quote from Bohdi Sanders that says
“When you react, you let others control you. When you respond, you are in control.”